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Jon Stewart Quotes Emmy award winning comedian, actor, author and producer Jon Stewart was born on November 28, 1962 in New York City.
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- "Right now around the world we are being watched by hundreds of millions of people, nearly half of whom are in the process of being adopted by Angelina Jolie. I'm wait-listed." (from 78th Academy Awards show)
- "The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom."
- "Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You legalize marijuana, no need for quotas, because really, who's gonna wanna work?"
- "You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things."
- "I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
- "There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on "Friends" is."
- "There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!"
- "We were on about a year-and-a-half on MTV, and eight to nine months in syndication. I think I hold the record for the longest running late night talk show in syndication, hosted by a white guy. I'm very proud."
- "At first the difference will be in whatever atmosphere I bring into it. It's not going to be like, 'I really want to do The Daily Show and I'd love to turn it into an abstract musical.' I like the format and the chance to satirize the news."
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